When it comes to the Golden Rule, the same holds true. It serves as our guide for community living. Essentially it encourages us to ask the question: how would I like to be treated if someone was bothered by a fault or failing of mine?

And here is the answer to that question: “Would I not want you to refrain from hasty, self-righteousness judgment and criticism? Would I not want you to avoid giving advice with a holier-than-thou attitude? Would I not want you to see if you have some similar flaw before pointing mine out to me? Would I not want you to do all you can to overcome your own moral deficiency, thus setting me a good example? Would I not want you to make sure you correct me in gentleness rather than chasing me away? And finally, would I not want you to pray for God to change you, me, and our relationship? You know what, I would like you to do all these things, so that is how I should treat you."

Again, there is a wider application to Jesus’ words. They extend beyond our relationships in the church into wider society. But the first and most central application is with regards to judgment and getting rid of a critical spirit. That is where the rubber hits the road, so to speak.

Example 1: When we make an appointment for a meeting, we want the other person to be present and on time. We advertise a particular time (e.g., 10:00) and that is when we want to begin. If there is something that stops us from being on time, whether an accident on the road, general laziness, or the need to change a diaper, in all cases we would want to be treated with grace. We would want our fellow brothers and sisters to welcome our arrival rather than responding with frustration when we open the door. We love our fellow believers when we are punctual; we love also when they respond with grace when we are not.

Example 2: If we are someone who struggles with same-sex desires or we are uncertain about our gender or we have just made a lot of bad decisions when it comes to relationships so that we have been divorced and remarried, how would you want to be treated? You would not want people to talk about you behind your back. You would not want to be made to feel unwelcome, as if your sins and struggles preclude you from belonging, as if the death of Christ is insufficient. Certainly the preaching of God’s Word will expose our sin and rightly make us feel uncomfortable, but our brothers and sisters should be those who encourage us to live in submission to Jesus. Friendly support, gentle admonitions—we want to be treated as family.

Example 3: Consider the church member who has demanding children. You do your best to bring them up in the fear of the Lord. You read the Bible to them, you pray for them. On the way to the worship service, you go through the rules of what is allowed and what is not, but still they do not behave as they should. Instead of angry looks and sighs, I am sure you will appreciate encouragement to keep bringing your children, like comments to the effect that they belong and that we want them to be present, and maybe even suggestions for what we can do as church members to help.

There are of course many other situations we can think of. How would we want to be treated if we are ill or unable to come to worship for a period of time, or if we have visa problems, financial difficulties or in need of a place to stay? If we are visitors, what would we expect from the regular church members? Probably not that we have to introduce ourselves, but that they come and speak to us, invite us to chat, ask questions about where we are from, and so forth. In every scenario, we all want to be met with kindness and help rather than groans and comments, thoughtful prayer and reflection rather than rushed judgments and critique. This is the kind of behaviour that ought to characterise the Christian community. This is the kind of behaviour toward which we should strive.