Regarding the seventh commandment, there has always been a temptation to limit the command to a specific deed, so that we can wash our hands in innocence and point the finger at others. It is a bit harder to do with adultery because of the way in which the book of Proverbs (Proverbs 4:23; Proverbs 6:23–25; Proverbs 7:24–26) makes it clear that our desires are involved, but it can still be done if you are clever.

In a society where no-fault divorce is commonplace, you can set your sights on a new partner, organize your diary to spend more and more time in their presence, drift away from your spouse and the difficulties of relationship, write a certificate to formally end the marriage, and then begin life with new man or woman, your true love. You can do all of that and claim that you never committed adultery. You never had sexual relations someone who was not your spouse.

Such practices are widespread in our days. Both inside and outside the church, divorce is common, remarriage is almost always encouraged, and wedding vows are treated as a wedding soundbite. Till death do us part. It sounds nice. It is a good intention, but everyone knows what you really mean is till marriage becomes difficult. Till you fall sick and I need to let go of my dreams to look after you. Till I discover that you’re infertile and we won’t be able to have biological children. Till I meet someone who seems to really get me. Till our children leave the home. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate, said Jesus in Matthew 19:1–30. We might not like the word adultery, but it is all around us. It is a common and accepted sin.

Perhaps you are unwilling to think of divorce and remarriage in these terms. Maybe a pastor said it was perfectly acceptable, and no doubt we want to think further on the meaning of the exception clause, but before we do that let us go back to the beginning of the problem. Where does adultery begin? Where do the ungodly desires that lead to divorce come from?