Summary

The husband compares his wife to a spring, a well from which water wells up (also see a few verses further on, Song of Solomon 4:15). She produces water that gives new strength to someone who is tired and thirsty. She can cause someone to be revitalized when it seems that strength and courage have disappeared.

What is the special element here? It is this: the garden is locked, and the spring or fountain is sealed. When farmers in ancient Israel dug their own well in the field and it had been covered with clay, it served as a sign that it was not to be used by others. When that farmer returned to the well after a while, he removed the layer of clay to use it again for himself. As the owner he was the only one allowed to use this well.

A wife in a marriage is the locked garden and the locked spring for her husband. She is not accessible to other people. She is not a garden to someone else, in which others can explore everything. She will indeed help and encourage other people, but will always remain at a certain distance. The encouragement, the peace that emanates from the husband and wife being together, and the intimate relationship that exists between them, is only for the one to whom she is married. She opens her heart only to him as to no other. Only he receives access to an intimacy that she will never give to another. The most confidential relationship is reserved for him alone.

These things also show us today how we should treat each other before we are married and when we are in a courtship. Then there may and must be growth in spiritual and physical relationships with each other toward a marriage—where the boundary remains very clear that there will be no sexual intercourse and/or gratification. That is what the Lord has reserved for marriage. We must respectfully keep this boundary in faith, in our life with Christ—even if this is a big struggle. Bring it to the Lord again and again in your prayers. May he give you the strength through his Spirit to remain a closed garden and a sealed fountain for each other in that regard until the day of your marriage.

This can be very difficult, especially in our days with all the sexual stimuli around us. It can be very difficult to respect that boundary. Your desire can become very great. The longing and the excitement can be so strong. That is when it is so important that you want to live together in love for the Lord as his obedient children, and that you want to work together in the power of God’s Spirit to keep yourself holy as a temple of the Holy Spirit. Paul writes specifically about the sexual relationship that God has given as belonging in marriage: Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body (1 Corinthians 6:19–20).

When you want to serve Christ together, then you will also want to pray together. Again and again you will then pray together for strength to live a holy life that pleases God before your marriage, also in this regard. Then you help each other not to go too far in your physical relationship. Then you talk about this together and agree on the boundaries. Discuss how to avoid circumstances where it is very difficult not to go further than the Lord wants. You can talk about it openly together, especially as children of God, because the will of your heavenly Father is the most important to you.