The young women addressed in the previous verse do not actually understand why this woman is saying the words of Song of Solomon 5:8. They do not understand why she feels this way. They see that this woman is very attractive and so they just do not understand why her husband means so much to her. She is beautiful even if she is dark. Why does she only want him so much? What makes him so special above all those other nice and handsome men? As a beautiful woman, why wouldn’t she seek the company of other men? They would be happy to be with her.
It is obvious that these young women are not used to the fact that this man and woman have such a special bond of love in their marriage. Nothing in this world can replace it. It seems that they come from families where this bond of love is not as clear and lived out as an example to the children, and that it is not talked about in this way.
It is important to ask ourselves what this is like with us today. What does it look like in our families? In our marriages? What happens to us when the man is away from home for several days or weeks for his work? How do we respond to a wife who then says that she does not like it when her husband is away for a while; that she is looking forward to the moment that he returns home again; and that she would love it if he came back earlier? Do we then look at her with strange eyes? Would we have said something else when our husband was away, like: I actually like that he is gone for a while, because then I can do my own thing. At least then I will have some peace and quiet for a while and there will not be any tension or arguments.
This also has to do with how we talk about our own husband or wife in conversations with others. When you are having coffee with other women, do you talk negatively about your husband? When men are talking to each other, do they do the same when it comes to their wives? When we sit together as friends or girlfriends, do we share more confidential information with them than we do with our own husband or wife? Do we share things in our hearts that we do not discuss with our own husband or wife?
If this is how things are in your life, it is natural to say to others who do desire their own husband or wife, Why do you feel this way? Why do you think this way? Surely that is not necessary. Certainly, there are other people with whom you can have a lot of fun. What makes your own husband or wife so special?
If this is how things are in your life and if this is how you set an example for your children, your children will think that this is all OK and normal—that your own husband or wife is not all that special. They will not see the bond between husband and wife as that very special and unique bond of love that the Lord has given in life. He wants the relationship between a husband and a wife to be the most trusted relationship between people on earth. We read that very clearly at creation, Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh
(Genesis 2:24).
That being one flesh or body is not just about sexual intercourse between a husband and wife. It is about being a unique unit together with your wife or husband. You share everything, down to the deepest things in your heart with your wife or husband. With your spouse you form a close unit of life. There is no person on earth with whom you share any greater trust and loyalty. That is the command the Lord gave already in paradise. We always need to have a clear view of this task.
The Holy Spirit shows us especially in the Song of Solomon what a good marriage looks like and how we can work on it in his strength. The Lord in his wisdom and Fatherly care has given the book of Song of Solomon to prepare us for our marriage and to keep using it as a touchstone. It is Christ who shows us that according to God’s intention, this is how a marriage should be and that is how it is good for us.
The young women of Jerusalem, the young people in the church should know very well that in a marriage in which Christ reigns it is not only about the sexual aspect. In their marriage, the husband and wife want to be such a unity that they are also each other’s best friends. Your beloved is also your friend with whom you want to share everything and that is why you long for the other person again and again. With him or her you can express yourself fully.
9 What is your beloved more than another beloved, O most beautiful among women? What is your beloved more than another beloved, that you thus adjure us?