Manoah’s wife had just told him that the man of God has appeared to me.
Thus, Manoah’s question, Are you the man who spoke to this woman?
suggests that he had problems listening to or believing his wife. Or his question implies that he thought the Lord would not work through women since their testimony was not to be trusted. If so, the Lord did not agree with Manoah since he appeared twice to his wife instead of to him.
Further, Manoah speaks of his wife as this woman.
He does not dignify her with her name, he does not even speak of her as his wife
as the narrator had done earlier in the verse. But probably no offense is meant; Manoah may simply be speaking as a man of his times.1
All told, Manoah’s question reflects his insecurity, and his slowness to grasp the significance of what his wife has said. It also gives the impression that he is trying to throw his weight around.
11 And Manoah arose and went after his wife and came to the man and said to him, “Are you the man who spoke to this woman?” And he said, “I am.”